I Am Perfect...Perfectly Imperfect!

I am perfect...perfectly flawed. Our quirks and habits are what makes us so interesting and unique. If everyone were just like the next person then imagine how boring the world would be. Exact replicas of the person before us and the person after us, the same generic attitude and lifestyle?, nah, I don't think so! give me different and interesting please! Instead I choose to live my life the way I want to(or as much as I can), with my quirks and my habits, that is what makes me uniquely and completely me. I have tattoos and curly red hair, I can cuss with the best of them and I cry over sad movies and books, I'm a coffee addict(especially mochas) and I have a unique way of stretching out on pier railings fully clothed, just because. Do those things make me a freak? nope they make me, me. I am what I am, nothing more, nothing less, just me. You can accept it and enjoy life with me or you can point your finger, laugh and walk away, your choice, not mine. I love who and how I am, I love sharing my life with people that mean alot to me, and I am tired of trying to change myself to suit others' opinions and expectations of me, so if you don't like me how I am then keep on movin', nothing for you in my life and you probably couldn't handle it anyway. I believe there is a saying that goes"If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" I agree with that 110%, Accept me for me including all my uniqueness and quirks, if that is what caught your eye and kept your attention then why would you want to change it? Never settle for being a copy when you can be an original! I'm all about the whole "square peg in a round hole" idea, same 'ol same 'ol is boring. It has taken me many years to perfect my originality, and I'm still working on it, and many years of being something I'm not, trying to please people that can't be pleased, and I started to realize that it's not my fault and I can't expect people to accept what they can't or won't understand, and then I started to realize I wasn't good at being a fake, trying to mold myself to others' expectations depressed me and kept me out of sorts, so it's time to be an original, if it means some people can't handle it, then I suggest you head for the nearest exit, if you think you can handle it, and you want to be part of an adventure then I suggest that you tighten your seat belt and hang on, 'cause it's gonna be a hell of a ride baby!!

How do you know....

Words, a look, a certain touch, smiles exchanged just because? how do you know he or she is "the one"? sometimes you know from the start, it hits you like a bolt of lighting out of the darkest sky, the chemistry is instant and strong and things explode and ignite, you've found "that person". Perhaps you may already know someone, and are really just starting to spend time with them and one day, for no reason, you think of them and it's like fireworks, just the thought of them brings a smile to your face and warms you from the inside out, and catches you by surprise; these feelings kind of sneak up on you like a ninja attack and you are completely unprepared, and at a loss at what to do about them. Confront them, or ignore them? if you ignore them you will always be left with the "what if" syndrome..what if I followed my heart would I be with "the one", would I be happy and content? If you confront them then you run the risk of having your heart broken, of confessing your feelings to the other person only to have that person not feel the same about you and running the risk of having that person leave your life.  It's up to you, take the chance or not, no one can answer that question but you. "That person" will make you feel like you are so very important to them, they know when to hold you close and also when to let you go.  They'll cheer for you and encourage you, but they also know when you need a butt chewing or a smack on the side of the head so to speak. They let you grow and stand by your side, never in front of you, or behind you, but beside you. They are the warmth you long for on the coldest days, the softest of touches when you are hurting, and the shoulder to lean on when you can't continue on your own.  They walk softly upon your heart, linger in your dreams, and slip quietly through your thoughts.  They won't complete you, they will complement you, and in the most wonderful of ways.  When you've found "the one" you'll know, because they will, without you even knowing it, make you feel things you've never thought possible, and in the most subtle of ways, help you to become a better you.  One day, hopefully, we will all have a chance at finding "the one", those that have congratulations, and for those of us that are looking or have found the one but can't be with them for whatever reason don't give up, it will happen,  don't lose faith in your heart.

Why I'm so damn good!... interesting bits o' information about redheads

Just a fun little post today regarding redheads, we are often misunderstood, stereotyped and thought to be something we really aren't, but we are unique and worth getting to know, and... "if you're lucky to have a redhead as part of your life then you're pretty damn lucky!!"- T.Haraga

 a recent study from the University of Louisville determined that redheads really do require more anesthesia during surgery.

In medieval Europe, the infamous witch-hunting manual, Malleus Maleficarum, instructed that red hair and green eyes were marks of a witch, as were freckles.

There might actually be some truth to the myth of the lustful redhead. A recent study by a sex researcher in Hamburg, Germany found that women with red hair had sex more often. Another survey in England duplicated those findings, and reported that redheads had sex an average of three times per week, compared to twice per week for blondes and brunettes. For these studies, it didn’t matter whether the women’s hair was naturally red or dyed red. (Of course nothing is better than the real thing, just sayin')

Of all the women who color their hair, 30 percent choose to become redheads—more than the 27 percent who go brunette and the 26 percent who go blonde.

Some famous fiery redheads include Queen Elizabeth I, Galileo, Thomas Jefferson, Napoleon, and Vincent Van Gogh. More recent redheads include comedienne Lucille Ball and birth control pioneer Margaret Sanger.

The above bits of information were via the website divinecaroline.com

 Red hair is the rarest type of hair color in the world, only 1-2% of the population boasts red locks

In the late 16th century, the fat of a redheaded man was an essential ingredient for poison

In Greek Mythology, redheads turn into Vampires when they die.

 Red hair doesn’t gray as much as other hair colors. Red hair initially tends to turn blond and then white.

According to Playboy magazine, “Redheads are like other women—only more so.”^c

 In Egypt, redheads were buried alive as sacrifices to the god Osiris

The above information is courtesy of facts.randomhistory.com

Quotes about redheads:

"Blondes are wild, brunettes are true,but you never know just what a redhead will do!" unknown

"Once in his life, every man is entitled  to fall in love with a gorgeous redhead!"
                           Lucille Ball, 1972

"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats." 
Mark Twain

"A trucker will slow down for a blonde, stop for a brunette, but he'll back up 500 yards for a redhead!"  uknown

 " If you want trouble... find your self a redhead." Anon.

"There is more, much more, to being a redhead than the color of one’s hair." (G. Adam Stanislav, red-haired photographer) 

"Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but it takes a real man to handle a redhead." anon

The above quotes are from various and assorted websites, credit has been given when available 

Lessons Learned by Walking Away

I think the hardest thing a person can do is let go of someone they love or really care about and watch them walk away, knowing that for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes people are part of our lives' for just a short amount of time, and regardless of how badly we want them to stay they slip quietly away when we least expect it, like the softest whisper, their purpose fulfilled in our life. Whether it's a marriage, a close friendship or any other type of relationship, having to turn that person loose, especially if they were within a closer or more intimate part of your life can be a very hard thing to do.  Seeing that person walk away from you and leave your life can leave a void that may not ever be filled, it can leave you questioning yourself and wondering what went wrong and if there could have been something done to prevent it, it hurts, and it stings and sometimes, when you least expect it, it makes you feel as if your heart, the one you shared has been thrown back in your face. You may experience hurt, anger, denial, several different emotions, you go through a grieving process of sorts and then you realize how much that person meant to you and over time you start to focus on the good memories, the times that made you smile and laugh, remembering these times may hurt at first, they may make you cry and you may just want to forget everything you can about that person, but over time it gets easier, not easy but easier.  It's a part of your life that happened, it helped to get you where you are, honor it for what it was, and is, try to make peace with it, and if you can't do it in person then in your heart and soul wish that person well, sometimes we learn the most, and grow the most when the things and people we thought we could never live without are suddenly gone and we are left with nothing but pleasant memories and lessons learned.

    

My Meaning of the Holidays

Haven't posted in a few days, been trying to deal with some issues of a personal nature. I'm back though and going to start this week of with a Christmas themed post.

The holidays can mean so many different things, some look on the Christmas holiday as purely a religious celebration, others look on it as one huge party extravaganza,  I'm not one to judge anyone but I'll share what the holidays mean to me:

The holiday season, right now in reference to Christmas is a time for me to reflect back upon the year and remember all the things that have happened, both good and bad.  It's a time to be more conscious of my surroundings and of those who are less fortunate than me and to take those extra steps to help those in need.  I try a little harder to make time to be with my family, slow down a little bit and enjoy the smaller things in life that I may not normally take time to do, laugh a little more, smile a little more and enjoy what my life is at this present moment.  Nothing is perfect, this is true but I can enjoy the good things even more and try to look at the things that aren't so good and take a mental inventory of them, decide which ones are worth trying to fix and which ones need to be turned loose, and I have a good mix of both.  I have been blessed with some amazing new friends this past year and with the exception of just a few, I truly hope I will be able to continue to call them my friends in the upcoming years and that I will be able to see them as often as possible. 
With the good comes the bad, it's the balance of life, and unfortunately this year I have met some people who have entered my life but who must go because I've decided that for whatever reason they do more harm than good and I really need to simplify and get rid of the poison in my life, an ongoing process but something I'm working on. 
The holidays are an amazing time, a chance for us to find our inner child so to speak, or create one if necessary, it's a time to fantasize a little, dream a little and enjoy the good parts of life. I would suggest to everyone that they set a "holiday mission" to do something this holiday season they've never done, make it fun, do it yourself or include your family and if it works for you incorporate it as part of your holiday traditions.    

When I Grow Up....

"What do you want to be when you grow up" how many times have we asked this question or been asked this question? probably about eleventy billion! In fact, and in my opinion this is a hard question to answer because we never "really" grow up, we may mature and becomes wiser (hopefully) and more steady in the path we walk but I don't think we ever really grow up, we hopefully, will continue to hold on to, and exhibit some of that child like wonder and excitement as we go through our lives, that to me is what will help get us through some of the darkest and most trying times of our lives.  I want to be happy, fulfilled, content and confident in myself and my abilities, I haven't gotten there completely, I'm still trying to find my path in a lot of things but it's my excitement that helps me get through, as long as I can smile and get excited about something then I will be OK, this I know.  If "growing up" means being melancholy and stuck, if it means just accepting things without at least attempting to change them, and living your life in the shadows of fear and insecurities then I don't ever want to "grow up".  We may mature physically and emotionally but it's important I think, to remember what it's like to get excited over little things, a thank you, the way ice cream tastes on a hot summer day, and how great it feels to experience some of the simplest moments in life,  the sun on your face, an unexpected call from a friend, these are the feelings and experiences that keep us alive and keep us excited about our lives, the simple moments and little things, for without these, our lives' would be boring and pretty uneventful, sometimes it's the simplest things and and gestures that mean the most and make getting up each morning worthwhile.

        

Make Peace, Let Go, Move On

Somtimes the hardest thing a person can do is make peace with someone or something that has been troubling them for a very long time.  That doesn't mean give in or give up, it just means to make peace with the things or people you can't change and move on, learn to live your life around this situation or person inspite of their presence.  If you continue to let that particular situation or person upset you or cause grief then you will continue to be unhappy and that's never good.  I do speak from personal experience on this.  I've had situations in my life that have troubled me for years and it took a while but I was able to make peace with it, what had happend wasn't my fault, there was nothing I could do that would have changed it and I was eventually able to let it go and move on.  It can be harder to let go of people simply because they are tangible, living, breathing beings and we always run the risk of being reminded of them when we least expect it.  I've done this too, you have to take a mental inventory and do a lot of soul searching to determine whether that person is worth a place in your life, whether the good times outweigh the bad and if, in the long run, they are worth the risk.  Sometimes you just grow apart but you hang on to a person because they remind you of good times in your earlier life, they provide security or a bridge to  people that you may not have otherwise met.  Every day I learn a little more about this, how to live my life around situations that I can't control or around people I haven't been able to banish from my life.  I don't think this makes me less of a person, a coward or someone who avoids situations or people, instead I think it makes me stronger and more resourceful because I am learning how to continue my life in spite of these circumstances. 

Sanctuary

God, I have missed the beach!! I live 10 minutes from it and yet it took me driving to Topsail Beach today to remind me of just how beautiful and serene the sand and waves can be. I went up to Topsail Beach to drop off supplies for the Sea Turtle Hospital and then decided to park and walk along the beach, between the waves and the smell of the salt air, and the sun reflecting off the water I completely lost sense of time and over an hour had passed before I headed back to my truck.  I call the beach my sanctuary, it's the one place I can go regardless of mood or attitude and leave in a better frame of mind, hot or cold, rain(to an extent) or shine, the beach is always there for me, it doesn't pass judgement but lets me sit silently or rage as loud as need be to clear my mind. The feel of the sun warming my face relaxes me in a way nothing else can.  I love being near the ocean, always have, it calls to me on multiple levels and reminds me how important the basics can be, to slow down and re evaluate what is truly important in my life, to search my heart and soul and figure out just what is important, what I have to have and what I can do without.  Just watching the movement of the waves is trance inducing and just like the waves wash the sand clean, listening to the combination of water and wind helps clear my mind of useless clutter and thoughts, and brings into focus the more important aspects of my life, what truly matters and who and what is truly a part of my heart and soul.

~~The beauty of the ocean will forever live in my heart, it's sound nourishes my spirit, and it's strength stirs my soul~~ T. Haraga

Look into my eyes...

Look into my eyes, if you aren't afraid of what you may see.  Our eyes are often considered mirrors of our souls, and I, to a large extent believe this.  It's hard to hide what you are truly feeling and our eyes reflect some of our deepest thoughts and emotions. I know for a fact that my eyes reveal more about me than my words ever could.  People can look at my eyes and tell if I'm tired, or sick, if I am upset or have things on my mind that I haven't spoken of.   When a person smiles a true and genuine smile it goes right up their face and into their eyes, they get a bit of a sparkle in their eyes with that smile.  If you are speaking to someone you truly care about and want to be with then your eyes may open a bit wider and, depending on what the conversation is about your look may soften a little bit.  I'm sure there is some sort of science behind all this, but I know from experience that when you look at someone and into their eyes you can tell alot about that person by how they look back at you and how they accept your gaze.  Sometimes more can be said with a look than with a thousand words.  You may forget what someone said to you but chances are you won't forget how they looked at you when they said it, I know I don't.  Looking into someone's eyes can be a very intense moment, it can bond you to that person in a way that words never could, you often feel as if you are looking into their very soul and catching a glimpse of their true self.  Holding a person's gaze can create some very strong feelings between two people, feelings that quite often you may not realize even exists, you can speak volumes without a single word, especially if your heart is in that look and that look is directed at someone you truly care about and you see that same look reflected back in their eyes.  Looks can also be a warning, "step back, I'm done with this" mirroring feelings of anger or frustration, or of fear.  What you see in a person's eyes is quite often a reflection of their true feelings, so when you listen to a person, take some time to look into their eyes see if what they are saying matches up with what you see, don't be afraid to ask for clarification, address the TRUE feelings and really take a look at what you see and not just what you hear.

        

Magic 8 Ball

 Remember when  you were little and you either had a magic 8 ball or one of your friends did, you would ask a question and immediately an answer would come up, and your dilemma would be solved or your question would be resolved?  I do not have a magic 8 ball, I do not have access to your mind or your thoughts, I don't like to make assumptions about situations or jump to conclusions, to do so would be unfair to you as well as myself.  When someone leaves you in the dark or only gives you part of the story then you are left seeking answers to questions left unanswered, and trying to draw conclusions from bits and pieces of the picture rather than the whole thing.  Try not to do this, try instead to give the other person some benefit of the doubt, a chance to come to you with an explanation and give them time to talk with you before drawing your final conclusions, just remember sometimes those questions get answered and the situation is resolved, sometimes it's not, sometimes, maybe the answers we get aren't the answers we wanted.  Whatever the case may be just remember there are THREE sides to the story, yours, the other persons' and the truth.  Do I want to hear your side of the story? Absolutely! Do I want to be given a chance to work it out? Of course.  If there is something I need to correct to make the situation better will I attempt to do so? Without a doubt.  But to be able to do these things I need to know the whole story, and I would prefer to hear it from you than make it up in my mind. 

A Simple Phrase

"It is what it is".  This is such a simple phrase to say but it has such meaning and impact.  Quite simply the situation is and that is how it will be, for whatever reason.  People often tell others "I hope things work out and you will be happy " I say "I hope the situation works out the way it was meant to".  That's just me and a lot of times people don't understand why I say that, well let me explain, maybe you aren't meant to be happy in whatever sitaution you are in, instead maybe whatever you are feeling is necessary for you to move forward and learn and grow.  Maybe the situation you are in requires a certain amount of pain or tears, let's face it life isn't all unicorns and glitter, sometimes life requires us to experience loss and heartache, uncertainity and dealing with things we don't want to deal with.  No, I'm not being a pessimist, I'm being a realist, that's how I roll, although sometimes I should curb it, I will admit. Use your situation to learn from, allow, within reason, yourself to experience whatever particular situation you may be in but remember, you do have the power within yourself to make changes and create new situations if what you have isn't working, it may not be easy and it may require some help but it can be done, you just have to want it bad enough and you have to be willing to reach out and accept help if it's offered and ask for help when it's needed.

The Little Things, Sometimes Not So Little

Had a really good day today, 1 1/2 hours of Vinyasa yoga with no pain afterwards, followed by a energizing walk at a new park I found last weekend, errands, spending time with some really special people and great conversation and coffee.  Nothing outrageous or flashy, I don't always do flashy or outrageous, sometimes it's the little things, a great yoga practice, friends and the like that create the best memories, I wouldn't trade this afternoon for a glitz filled afternoon at all, why? because to me it's the little things like the ones I mentioned that mean the most to me, and to me they aren't so little because they are part of what make up my life and what makes me, well, me.  I may not always get the chance to do exactly what I want, and sometimes when I get a chance to do the things I love it may not be for as long as I want to do them but that's ok because I'm still doing them and still being with the people that mean the most to me and that is what counts.  It's the little things that count the most, especially to me, a simple gesture or a small token that was thought about before being given, when you put a part of yourself into what you are doing or giving then that little thing suddenly becomes so much bigger because it has a part of you in it and it shows and it makes that gesture or token that much more important or cherished, it's easy to go to the store and grab something off the shelf and give it away, it's so much harder to do something from the heart or to really think about what someone wants, and it's precisely because of this reason, this level of "hardness" that makes those gestures or gifts more cherished than the others.   

Real or Fake?

Sometimes, we as human beings and to an extent natural worriers create problems that aren't really there.  We take only partial facts, one side of a story or situation and create the parts that we don't know from our own thoughts and insecurities.  In doing this we create problems that aren't real and situations that are far more complicated and extreme than what they really are.  We sometimes forget that a miscommunication is simply that, the person you are trying to reach may be extremely busy or may have just forgotten to get back to you.  So instead of jumping on the phone and calling them or shooting off a text questioning their motives, let it rest, do nothing and see what happens. A lot of times you will find that the situation will work itself out and that you have actually given the other person a chance to step up and take responsibility for opening the line of communication.  Think about what may be going on in the other person's life, stressful work situation, crazy schedule at school, have they been sick or maybe home life isn't so great? life's issues prevent us from doing the most basic of things sometimes, sleep, communication, exercise, eating healthy, all of these things tend to get put on the back burner because of life's demands and because of this, problems, real or imagined are created  and then we are left to wonder what is going on with the other person or what we may have done to make them avoid us.  So I would say, leave it alone, let the situation rest for a bit and see what happens.  Sometimes the best action is nothing at all.  

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Just a light hearted post for now.  We all have "things" in our lives that make us go "mmmmm"...sometimes they are simple and uncomplicated and sometimes the exact opposite.  So for right now and in no particular order I thought I would list a few of my favorite things, those things that make me go "mmmmm...."

Sunflowers-beautiful and they always make me smile

The Beach-tranquil and the sound of the ocean is very soothing to a ruffled spirit

Coffee with honey- great combination and something I found recently, now I have a cup or two every morning, and I almost have the honey to coffee ratio right :) .
A Good Stretch-feels great especially after a tough workout 
Reiki- 3 years and counting, sometimes I don't always practice but it is always with me.
Massage- I've had only a few of these, but especially when you get my trouble spots, oh yeah!
Laughter- I'm talking the "let down your guard, laugh until you can't see" type, not the contained, restrained, fake laughter.
Yoga- I have restarted yoga classes and am so glad I did, very good energy and positive spirit when you are going through the poses.

Meditation- Along with yoga I am starting to incorporate meditation into my routine each day, even 15 minutes can work wonders on a person's spirit.
PMR- or pray, meditate, reki, these three things done together are powerful tools for calming yourself, if you have the ability to do all three together then do it, amazing!! and thanks to a dear friend of mine for suggesting these, I do them all but never have done them together so THANK YOU!  

These are just a few, there are certainly more but these are the basics, and when I can incorporate at least a couple of these into my day I find that usually, regardless of whatever may present itself, the day ends up turning out pretty good..