In the Grand Scheme of Things...

One moment, a split second in our entire life and it seems to last forever.  The hardest things in life are the things we may be experiencing right now, and all we can think of is how badly we want to be done with them.  I know that is how I feel.  2012 has arrived and I am still dealing with leftovers of 2011 and I so want to be done with them! Things I need to close the book on.  I feel like my life will forever be consumed by these things and how huge they are.  In the grand scheme of things, when I take a step back and work to put them in perspective I realize that although they are important and they do have to be resolved they are only as big as I allow them to be. I name them and recognize them and then work to resolve them and it takes some time to do so, some of these issues have been years in the making and they will not be resolved in a few days or months, or at least not to my satisfaction.  I am trying to learn how to live my life in a grateful and purpose filled way, not taking for granted the important things and trying to give back to those that have given to me.  Easier said than done but it's important to me to recognize those people and events that mean alot to me and have made me a better person, and I am finding that as I work my way into doing these things I am met with resentment from people in my life, I guess they are more of the selfish mindset than I am.  To me, if you look at the big picture that is your life it's important to recognize the bad with the good, both got you to where you are at this very moment and it's what you do in your next steps, and the next actions that you take that will help set your future path. In the grand scheme of things everything is connected good to bad, past to present and present to future and when something seems overwhelming try to remind yourself that whatever it is will only be a part of your life and that you have the power to overcome the bad and turn it into something good.  Our life is made up of many parts and it's up to us how we put those parts together and what we do with them.   Be yourself and allow the best of you to help others when, maybe, they aren't at their best and could use a little nudge to pick up the pieces and try again.

From the Heart

Another old blog post, from 2008 I believe:

I act from the heart quite often.  Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it gets me into trouble.  I have always said "I am who I am, nothing more, nothing less, just me"  I do what I feel needs to be done in that particular moment or for that particular situation.  The people in my life are there because, I hope, they choose to be there, I would never expect someone to be my friend out of obligation, no one is "expected" to stay a part of my life and I would never want you to feel that way.  I share my life and my heart with those that are important to me and those that I care about, now having said that I will say that sometimes we make choices in our life regarding things or people that we want to change and sometimes it's not an easy thing to do so therefore, those things and people are still a part of your life even though you may want them gone, when the time is right it will happen, because sometimes when you give from the heart and love from the heart those things or people that aren't important or that have shunned you or made you feel less worthy or worthwhile simply must go, and it's a matter of timing and letting go, the pieces must be in place and then the situation will take care of itself.  I am a very caring, nuturing person and I do not enjoy seeing those within my "heart circle"(the ones that really matter and you know who you are) hurt, or suffer in any way, it drives me up the wall because I can't fix it but that doesn't mean I won't try..and try.  I will cry tears for you, worry for you, fight for you, lose sleep, anything if it will make your situation better, and I'll worry about me later.  But if you have hurt me, or made me feel like I'm not worth your time or effort, that I don't matter and that I'm not good enough, (and yes you know who you are also) then you may still be a part of my life but I can guarantee you, you are NOT part of my heart and that you will eventually be put out for good, and the door will hit you in the ass on the way out.