Make Peace, Let Go, Move On

Somtimes the hardest thing a person can do is make peace with someone or something that has been troubling them for a very long time.  That doesn't mean give in or give up, it just means to make peace with the things or people you can't change and move on, learn to live your life around this situation or person inspite of their presence.  If you continue to let that particular situation or person upset you or cause grief then you will continue to be unhappy and that's never good.  I do speak from personal experience on this.  I've had situations in my life that have troubled me for years and it took a while but I was able to make peace with it, what had happend wasn't my fault, there was nothing I could do that would have changed it and I was eventually able to let it go and move on.  It can be harder to let go of people simply because they are tangible, living, breathing beings and we always run the risk of being reminded of them when we least expect it.  I've done this too, you have to take a mental inventory and do a lot of soul searching to determine whether that person is worth a place in your life, whether the good times outweigh the bad and if, in the long run, they are worth the risk.  Sometimes you just grow apart but you hang on to a person because they remind you of good times in your earlier life, they provide security or a bridge to  people that you may not have otherwise met.  Every day I learn a little more about this, how to live my life around situations that I can't control or around people I haven't been able to banish from my life.  I don't think this makes me less of a person, a coward or someone who avoids situations or people, instead I think it makes me stronger and more resourceful because I am learning how to continue my life in spite of these circumstances. 

Sanctuary

God, I have missed the beach!! I live 10 minutes from it and yet it took me driving to Topsail Beach today to remind me of just how beautiful and serene the sand and waves can be. I went up to Topsail Beach to drop off supplies for the Sea Turtle Hospital and then decided to park and walk along the beach, between the waves and the smell of the salt air, and the sun reflecting off the water I completely lost sense of time and over an hour had passed before I headed back to my truck.  I call the beach my sanctuary, it's the one place I can go regardless of mood or attitude and leave in a better frame of mind, hot or cold, rain(to an extent) or shine, the beach is always there for me, it doesn't pass judgement but lets me sit silently or rage as loud as need be to clear my mind. The feel of the sun warming my face relaxes me in a way nothing else can.  I love being near the ocean, always have, it calls to me on multiple levels and reminds me how important the basics can be, to slow down and re evaluate what is truly important in my life, to search my heart and soul and figure out just what is important, what I have to have and what I can do without.  Just watching the movement of the waves is trance inducing and just like the waves wash the sand clean, listening to the combination of water and wind helps clear my mind of useless clutter and thoughts, and brings into focus the more important aspects of my life, what truly matters and who and what is truly a part of my heart and soul.

~~The beauty of the ocean will forever live in my heart, it's sound nourishes my spirit, and it's strength stirs my soul~~ T. Haraga

Look into my eyes...

Look into my eyes, if you aren't afraid of what you may see.  Our eyes are often considered mirrors of our souls, and I, to a large extent believe this.  It's hard to hide what you are truly feeling and our eyes reflect some of our deepest thoughts and emotions. I know for a fact that my eyes reveal more about me than my words ever could.  People can look at my eyes and tell if I'm tired, or sick, if I am upset or have things on my mind that I haven't spoken of.   When a person smiles a true and genuine smile it goes right up their face and into their eyes, they get a bit of a sparkle in their eyes with that smile.  If you are speaking to someone you truly care about and want to be with then your eyes may open a bit wider and, depending on what the conversation is about your look may soften a little bit.  I'm sure there is some sort of science behind all this, but I know from experience that when you look at someone and into their eyes you can tell alot about that person by how they look back at you and how they accept your gaze.  Sometimes more can be said with a look than with a thousand words.  You may forget what someone said to you but chances are you won't forget how they looked at you when they said it, I know I don't.  Looking into someone's eyes can be a very intense moment, it can bond you to that person in a way that words never could, you often feel as if you are looking into their very soul and catching a glimpse of their true self.  Holding a person's gaze can create some very strong feelings between two people, feelings that quite often you may not realize even exists, you can speak volumes without a single word, especially if your heart is in that look and that look is directed at someone you truly care about and you see that same look reflected back in their eyes.  Looks can also be a warning, "step back, I'm done with this" mirroring feelings of anger or frustration, or of fear.  What you see in a person's eyes is quite often a reflection of their true feelings, so when you listen to a person, take some time to look into their eyes see if what they are saying matches up with what you see, don't be afraid to ask for clarification, address the TRUE feelings and really take a look at what you see and not just what you hear.

        

A Simple Phrase

"It is what it is".  This is such a simple phrase to say but it has such meaning and impact.  Quite simply the situation is and that is how it will be, for whatever reason.  People often tell others "I hope things work out and you will be happy " I say "I hope the situation works out the way it was meant to".  That's just me and a lot of times people don't understand why I say that, well let me explain, maybe you aren't meant to be happy in whatever sitaution you are in, instead maybe whatever you are feeling is necessary for you to move forward and learn and grow.  Maybe the situation you are in requires a certain amount of pain or tears, let's face it life isn't all unicorns and glitter, sometimes life requires us to experience loss and heartache, uncertainity and dealing with things we don't want to deal with.  No, I'm not being a pessimist, I'm being a realist, that's how I roll, although sometimes I should curb it, I will admit. Use your situation to learn from, allow, within reason, yourself to experience whatever particular situation you may be in but remember, you do have the power within yourself to make changes and create new situations if what you have isn't working, it may not be easy and it may require some help but it can be done, you just have to want it bad enough and you have to be willing to reach out and accept help if it's offered and ask for help when it's needed.

The Little Things, Sometimes Not So Little

Had a really good day today, 1 1/2 hours of Vinyasa yoga with no pain afterwards, followed by a energizing walk at a new park I found last weekend, errands, spending time with some really special people and great conversation and coffee.  Nothing outrageous or flashy, I don't always do flashy or outrageous, sometimes it's the little things, a great yoga practice, friends and the like that create the best memories, I wouldn't trade this afternoon for a glitz filled afternoon at all, why? because to me it's the little things like the ones I mentioned that mean the most to me, and to me they aren't so little because they are part of what make up my life and what makes me, well, me.  I may not always get the chance to do exactly what I want, and sometimes when I get a chance to do the things I love it may not be for as long as I want to do them but that's ok because I'm still doing them and still being with the people that mean the most to me and that is what counts.  It's the little things that count the most, especially to me, a simple gesture or a small token that was thought about before being given, when you put a part of yourself into what you are doing or giving then that little thing suddenly becomes so much bigger because it has a part of you in it and it shows and it makes that gesture or token that much more important or cherished, it's easy to go to the store and grab something off the shelf and give it away, it's so much harder to do something from the heart or to really think about what someone wants, and it's precisely because of this reason, this level of "hardness" that makes those gestures or gifts more cherished than the others.   

Real or Fake?

Sometimes, we as human beings and to an extent natural worriers create problems that aren't really there.  We take only partial facts, one side of a story or situation and create the parts that we don't know from our own thoughts and insecurities.  In doing this we create problems that aren't real and situations that are far more complicated and extreme than what they really are.  We sometimes forget that a miscommunication is simply that, the person you are trying to reach may be extremely busy or may have just forgotten to get back to you.  So instead of jumping on the phone and calling them or shooting off a text questioning their motives, let it rest, do nothing and see what happens. A lot of times you will find that the situation will work itself out and that you have actually given the other person a chance to step up and take responsibility for opening the line of communication.  Think about what may be going on in the other person's life, stressful work situation, crazy schedule at school, have they been sick or maybe home life isn't so great? life's issues prevent us from doing the most basic of things sometimes, sleep, communication, exercise, eating healthy, all of these things tend to get put on the back burner because of life's demands and because of this, problems, real or imagined are created  and then we are left to wonder what is going on with the other person or what we may have done to make them avoid us.  So I would say, leave it alone, let the situation rest for a bit and see what happens.  Sometimes the best action is nothing at all.  

A Few Of My Favorite Things

Just a light hearted post for now.  We all have "things" in our lives that make us go "mmmmm"...sometimes they are simple and uncomplicated and sometimes the exact opposite.  So for right now and in no particular order I thought I would list a few of my favorite things, those things that make me go "mmmmm...."

Sunflowers-beautiful and they always make me smile

The Beach-tranquil and the sound of the ocean is very soothing to a ruffled spirit

Coffee with honey- great combination and something I found recently, now I have a cup or two every morning, and I almost have the honey to coffee ratio right :) .
A Good Stretch-feels great especially after a tough workout 
Reiki- 3 years and counting, sometimes I don't always practice but it is always with me.
Massage- I've had only a few of these, but especially when you get my trouble spots, oh yeah!
Laughter- I'm talking the "let down your guard, laugh until you can't see" type, not the contained, restrained, fake laughter.
Yoga- I have restarted yoga classes and am so glad I did, very good energy and positive spirit when you are going through the poses.

Meditation- Along with yoga I am starting to incorporate meditation into my routine each day, even 15 minutes can work wonders on a person's spirit.
PMR- or pray, meditate, reki, these three things done together are powerful tools for calming yourself, if you have the ability to do all three together then do it, amazing!! and thanks to a dear friend of mine for suggesting these, I do them all but never have done them together so THANK YOU!  

These are just a few, there are certainly more but these are the basics, and when I can incorporate at least a couple of these into my day I find that usually, regardless of whatever may present itself, the day ends up turning out pretty good..