**Import from old blog 2008**
Do you ever sit back and really take a look at your life? examine it and think "this is exactly where I thought I would be", or "no, this is nothing like what I thought my life would be like"? Sometimes I do this and I realize that even with my job, my family, photography, reiki, volunteer work and friends that my life is pretty lonely. I seem to exist for others, that my sole purpose in life is to make others happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I can do that, I enjoy making the people I care about smile and feel better about things, it's just something I do. But at the end of the day or when I'm in a blue funk there's really no one to return the favor. I do have friends that care about me (you know who you are) and listen but sometimes it's still a feeling of aloneness. I sometimes feel that I walk a path and I walk it in a detached sort of way, not quite by myself but not as a part of anything either. The listener to problems, the one who works to help others problems go away, the one who puts her problems and worries aside to help her friends because it's what she does, doesn't have someone to pick up a sword and help her fight her demons so to speak, maybe it's because I don't ask, I'm so used to being the one that people turn to, I haven't figured out how to let others step in and help me, maybe I'm just uneasy about letting others help me or maybe it's just how I am, who knows. I know there are people in my life that would pick up that sword so to speak and fight that fight just as I would for them, maybe one day I'll be willing to let them do that. Either way, sometimes it doesn't matter who you have in your life, what you do, or where you're at, sometimes when you look at the whole picture, it's really just you and that's pretty lonely
Do you ever sit back and really take a look at your life? examine it and think "this is exactly where I thought I would be", or "no, this is nothing like what I thought my life would be like"? Sometimes I do this and I realize that even with my job, my family, photography, reiki, volunteer work and friends that my life is pretty lonely. I seem to exist for others, that my sole purpose in life is to make others happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I can do that, I enjoy making the people I care about smile and feel better about things, it's just something I do. But at the end of the day or when I'm in a blue funk there's really no one to return the favor. I do have friends that care about me (you know who you are) and listen but sometimes it's still a feeling of aloneness. I sometimes feel that I walk a path and I walk it in a detached sort of way, not quite by myself but not as a part of anything either. The listener to problems, the one who works to help others problems go away, the one who puts her problems and worries aside to help her friends because it's what she does, doesn't have someone to pick up a sword and help her fight her demons so to speak, maybe it's because I don't ask, I'm so used to being the one that people turn to, I haven't figured out how to let others step in and help me, maybe I'm just uneasy about letting others help me or maybe it's just how I am, who knows. I know there are people in my life that would pick up that sword so to speak and fight that fight just as I would for them, maybe one day I'll be willing to let them do that. Either way, sometimes it doesn't matter who you have in your life, what you do, or where you're at, sometimes when you look at the whole picture, it's really just you and that's pretty lonely
